I couldn't hide my excitement when I got admission into Georgetown's CCT (Communication Culture and Technology) program, fall of 2016 but deferred to 2017 due to financial challenges. However, what no one told me (was told in very vague terms) was that surviving graduate school especially on the American soil has to be one of the most daunting, depressing and self excruciating moment for an international student and woe betide you if you're doing that with your own finance, which happens to be the case.

I started documenting my experience at Georgetown  Here and on another post which I can't seem to find the link, but as at that time reality.com had not hit me.

During these few months which started in August, I've gotten depressed, faced a racist professor, dealt with not being good enough and rethought my decision to applying at Georgetown. Don't get me wrong it is a great school and more better if you understand the system. As an outsider you see glamour, but you walk in and face the most Insidious experience ever. 

Last semester my grades went down the hill followed by my little moment and breakdown on IG crying my eyes out. Unfortunately, crying does not solve problems (it helps in preventing one from putting a chock hold over your neck though). Instead, I have resolved to brace up this semester, with less smiles, really unapologetic and gain the knowledge I can and need.

I am under pressure to please my parents and also myself (I set really high standards) and unfortunately I compare myself to people doing well and wonder why I am not meeting up to their standards (I don't know if I am to consider this a flaw). 

Research papers seem to be my downfall and I know in my head that it doesn't seem like I am making any headway. I really don't know how to argue points in research papers (do y'all have recommendations)? People have suggested I read in groups (I am not proud, but that isn't something I am good at and I am fine knowing that). I ask questions when in doubt but I don't like to seek help, I really love to task myself out of a hard situation, but I think this method of growth is failing me. Do y'all have any suggestions? School starts in a few days Y'all wish me luck.  One last thing, as if to make matters worse, finding a job to keep up with bills is proving difficult, plus I miss home a lot, maybe that is me missing my comfort Zone... its 2018 we move (Wavy Level)

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