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How I work to Overcome Self-Esteem Issues

How I work to Overcome Self-Esteem Issues

Self-esteem is a powerful inner capability that one either has or does not.  The definition of self-esteem has been defined as a ‘positive or negative attitude toward … the self’ (Rosenberg 1965, 30); but to pin social/cultural influence on our self-esteem is still open for discussion.

As humans living in a social environment, we likely to boost our self-esteem by gravitating towards things our mind tells us we are capable of achieving. And since self-esteem works with our mind we are influenced by our daily choices which can impact areas of our lives. For example, self-esteem is a major determinant of who we think we can date, associate with, wear, achieve, and so on).


Most of our negative self-esteem issues arise from the negative feedback we hear without a counter positive boost to help.

I’ve struggled with negative self-esteem over the years and shrink myself in public spaces to protect myself. To me, the less I talk in public, the less I’m likely I am to draw attention to myself for negative talks. My blog for a long time was my only public-facing tool, and a very safe place for me to feel confident and comfortable while engaging with different people.
But after moving to America, my self-esteem tanked got to an abysmal point, and I didn’t know who this girl (myself) was anymore, still writing on my blog, I couldn’t help but feel lost and I needed to call myself to order.


After struggling with self-esteem for a while, I came up with tips to work on it and I want to share my thoughts with you.

Write down things you’re confident of, and proud to have achieved with minimal or less effort (who benefited from it and how did it make you feel?). This is a reassuring task to do often, to remind yourself of who you are.

Surround yourself with people that reassure you of your self-worth. Words matter, and despite comments that we are not defined by negative feedbacks, we hear them and sometimes our mind can make mountains of a molehill.


Take ownership of your fears, and things that made you feel less worthy. For me, it was the feeling that I wasn’t date-able or beautiful enough to be loved. A good soul searching and I realized it was my thoughts feeding into hurtful words from childhood and teenage conversations. I have since outgrown my dating fear and I now believe beauty is a societal construct. People will have their opinions of who I am or who you are but that doesn’t take away your awesomeness.


Most of our self-esteem issues have a root in our upbringing.  For others it’s in our looks, we don’t fir the societies standard of beauty and that may cause a cognitive dissonance. Which is why I advise people, invest in what makes you feel beautiful. Being confident in your body can improve your self-esteem.

“I advise people if you have the means to change how you look and it makes you feel beautiful, then do so” Tweet this


Accept things you cannot change: I’ve been less confident of my height and body size. Unfortunately, I don’t look my age and have a small body frame for a twenty-something-year-old, and I have come to accept that as my lot. Some of us will never have what we wish for, but we can learn to live with what we have been given.

What tips can you add to this?



    • Grace Alex
      September 27, 2018 / 8:27 pm

      Thank you Feyi, for visiting

  1. Unknown
    September 25, 2018 / 9:17 pm

    First time opening and reading your blog… I'm inspired, yes if i had the means i would change a few things on me. Howver, knowing that our situation is sort of similar i feel more confident knowing I'm not the only 24yr old with a small body frame and height. Thank you for this

    • Grace Alex
      September 27, 2018 / 9:03 pm

      Hahah, aww I hope you get to visit more often. Having a small body frame is a struggle, but we will be alright.

    September 26, 2018 / 7:49 pm

    Dear,you look great!! ♡

    • Grace Alex
      September 27, 2018 / 9:07 pm

      Hey love,

      Thank you

  3. Anonymous
    September 26, 2018 / 8:19 pm

    With havin so much content and articles do you ever run into any problems of plagorism or copyright infringement?
    My blog has a lot of completely unique content I've either
    created myself or outsourced but it appears a lot of it is popping it up all over the internet without my authorization. Do you know
    any ways to help stop content from being ripped off?
    I'd definitely appreciate it.

    • Grace Alex
      September 27, 2018 / 9:12 pm

      It is really hard to control the level your content is ripped off. However, for pictures you can add a watermark and on your blog put a word that prohibits people from lifting your content.

  4. Unknown
    September 26, 2018 / 10:54 pm

    Yes. Some times we battle with self esteem so much we sometimes are scared to speak about it. Thanks for sharing your experience.

    • Grace Alex
      September 27, 2018 / 9:13 pm

      Self-esteem is a silent killer and I;m glad you appreciate my opinion on it.

  5. Anonymous
    September 27, 2018 / 2:01 am

    Generally I don't read article on blogs, however I would like to say that this write-up very forced me to take a look at and do
    so! Your writing taste has been amazed me. Thanks, very great article.

    • Grace Alex
      September 27, 2018 / 9:13 pm

      Thank you, I appreciate it.

  6. Anonymous
    September 27, 2018 / 5:36 am

    That is a great tip especially to those fresh to the blogosphere.
    Short but very precise information? Thank you for sharing this one.
    A must read article!

  7. Peachy👸🏼
    September 28, 2018 / 3:31 pm

    Well deciphered 😍👸🏼

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