In my little lifetime, I have had the opportunity to experience life at both ends (failing and winning). Not until this past month have I found a way of learning to deal with failure. 

    Early this week, during a class work we took something similar to a behavioural test, which showed I loved to compete (I cannot apologise for that). However, my competitive side has made unsee the positive sides to failing, and I would go on for weeks tormenting myself about missed opportunities. I would always wonder if people who ventured in a similar course and found success while I failed had two heads. But there is something about winning that makes you feel invincible to failure.
...you see, at that time I considered myself a Christian with unshakeable faith, but mind you I was no Job (I saw a tweet recently about Job's biblical encounter, and I cackled) . 

 My closest brush with failure, in the past, was academically, and that bugged me to my wits, but this current challenge was doing something to me, it was breaking my faith, courage, and self esteem; most of which had taken me a decent amount of years to build. These insecurities got worse when I saw others winning, and I'm no hater.


    There is more to this, my blog count, had fallen below the bar, my Instagram (whose numbers people have come to associate success with) numbers were reducing with each passing day, which meant my endorsements were going downhill and it did.  

    This year started with so much optimism, and I was hopeful about the opportunities that the rest of the year would bring. Unfortunately, my woes began during the summer break. The endless search for summer intern opportunities to help with my tuition, which never happened, also I needed an on-campus job to help with rent and transportation and nothing fell through.

    Around the same time, my footwear line in Nigeria was having sales and logistics crisis. There was no plan for this in my new year resolution, you see, at that time I considered myself a Christian with unshakeable faith, but mind you I was no Job (I saw a tweet recently about Job's biblical encounter, and I cackled) . 


    

For people who win or those who are at a fairer advantage to win, it is easy to become a motivational speaker and tell people how winning is easy if they set their minds to it. However, there are very few people who see the light at the end of the tunnel when failing. Statistics recently have shown suicide rates on the rise due to temptations becoming unbearable.
    But I have won some, and there is something about winning that makes you win again. It's almost like a jinx broken, and you would never want to go back to failing. My grades this year in graduate school went up, and I became a better writer (learning from my failures), I found out the areas I was lacking and began to make adjustments. I started another semester in grad school when it looked like I was going to be a dropout. Although my business may not have progressed as planned, there have been huge improvements with logistics. Yesterday, I got word that I may be a TA for a tech class in spring of 2019 and now I feel invincible again... to be continued




You can watch my YouTube video on where I got my outfit from Here

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