“Grace, if I was to make a list on people I’ll invite for a nice time
out, your name may not be on the list; because sometimes energy speaks”.

Happy new month loves, I know it’s been a tranquil moment on my blog
that sometimes I wonder if I’ve exasperated all my creative ideas asides
wearing nice clothes.

The quote that ushered in today’s blog post, is from a conversation I had with a good friend, while
chatting over books, love and balance. If you follow my social media
handles, especially between the year 2016 through February 2019 you’ll
know I’m an open book. Most of my daily live pursuits have been documented openly
to balance out people’s keen interest in my life (that I’ve made public).
From struggling to pay rent, gaining admission, what I’m reading, my road trips, going through depression and recently, graduating; all these can be seen in a slide show on my
insta-stories, feed or timeline. So I took a break!

I am glad that break happened, because I started to re-evaluate what I
share, why I share it and if it matters that I do. So in June, while visiting
Evelyn at her apartment, we started that conversation about books, love and
balance, when my demeanor and social media presence came into conversation. While addressing me she posited, that although all stories matter, not all stories are beneficial
to be told because they affected the relationships I had, the way people viewed
me and also the value of my brand.

I wanted to argue but she was right,
because what I didn’t tell her was that a few months back those where my
exact thoughts, which resulted in me posting less on social media.

Let me take y’all back to the month of February!
So in February 7th while signing papers of a leave of absence to return
back to Nigeria, the narrative on social media was different; I had
posted a glittering green dress with a good face beat, responding to my
followers with exciting emojis. However, all the weeks leading up to that day had left me physically drained, my composure around my peers was off. One could tell that my situation was not good and that wasn’t a good temperament to be around–so I became withdrawn and I wasn’t invited for much (not like it happened ever). I was tempted to let out how I felt on social media, but for once, I realized that if God did not come through for me, this was not a problem man could solve.

Hence my birthday decision to allow my alternate universe (my social media) to do a different talking. I had racked up excuses in my head if people where to ask why I was home.

At the end of that day any situation I had was
sorted out (oh, God came through) and there was no pity party for me online; the perception
must have been, ‘Grace is goals’. It came as no surprise that the
lessons I learned that day would be reiterated months later while
chatting with Evelyn in her dim lit room.

“Grace, these are the questions to ask yourself before you share your sob
story online. You have to ask yourself, is the story reaching an
audience with the capacity to solve it?
does your brand matter to you?
and how many of such stories have you shared,  for this to become negligent?”

Y’all I felt that! she didn’t have to say so much but her opinion was
really backed up by a book she read in her social network analysis
class. So in following weeks leading up to today, I have maintained similar deliberate
measures about what I share. My post are less sob stories,  showing quirky side of me to information that empowers people and makes them think.

Now the gag is,
yesterday, I started to think about “Equipoise” or balance as people
call it, and where do we draw the line?

This story will have a part 2, leave your comments below.


Sneakers: Skechers
Neck piece:   Adolophine
Over-sized shirt: Value Village



  1. Berry Dakara
    August 8, 2019 / 8:55 pm

    This is a very interesting topic, especially as I'm someone who does not mind sharing the struggles and hard parts of life. I know that when I first started out with blogging, I was generally the Happy-go-Lucky girl who smiled a lot, and wanted to have fun. I'm still that person, but I'm not afraid to talk about the down days.

    I know I have probably lost followers, and I have gotten more than a few comments that insinuate a spark that's been lost. I don't even argue, because to a certain degree, I think it's true. However, I see myself as a multi-faceted person and I don't mind showing a little bit of everything – although, I may want to show more of the happy, care-free Berry that once-was.

    Berry Dakara Blog

    • Grace Alex
      September 3, 2019 / 4:42 am

      Hello Berry,

      It is always a joy reading your comments, at a time where people barely take time to read blogs; there you go having two paragraph with lengthy sentences. Keep doing what you do as long as you feel content and happy.

  2. Princess Audu
    August 28, 2019 / 2:52 pm

    This topic here eh is so important. I remember in my earlier blog days I shared so much personal information until one day it hit me that strangers and acquaintances know this much about me. So I stopped. It has honestly been hard to draw the line but really as we evolve as brands, we have to always ask ourselves the "why" the motive behind what we share online. Btw, I actually noticed you step back. I was just thinking the other day, I wonder what Grace has been up to.

    Princess Audu

    • Grace Alex
      September 3, 2019 / 4:50 am

      Hey Sarah,

      Aren't you a darling, it's always fun reading your comments here. I am so glad a lot of you loved this post. Lately, I have been posting less but posting more content I can come back to and reminisce.

      Thank you for being so thoughtful

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